Happy New Year, CiB readers! It has taken a few days for us to recover from the holidays and get back into the swing of things. In fact, we have been about as relaxed about getting back to Cats in Baths as this cat in a bath seems to be about being in a bath.
We have been delinquent bloggers because Derrick is off in Australia and New Zealand for two weeks so we have the whole apartment to ourselves, so obviously we have been dancing around in our skivvies as much as we want, like Risky Business meets Swan Lake, but with more falling, more wine-drinking and fewer blinds on the windows (you're welcome, world!). We have also discovered some incredible new TV - My Strange Addiction or Freaky Eaters, anyone?
We will have new regular posts starting again on Monday!
And thanks to Lynn B. for the video tip!
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
1.06.2011
12.20.2010
Christmas Hiatus and Our First Drawering of Franco
We are super excited that Christmas break is finally upon us. Derrick has one more final exam and then we're off to North Carolina to perfectly split our time equally between our two families! You can't let anyone get jealous of anyone else so early in your marriage. Remember that, ladies.
Part of our time is going to be spent holed up with Bill and Sandy H. off the Blue Ridge Parkway, minus internet, and the rest of our time will be spent eating Derrick's Mamaw's Balls of Fury. Get your heads out of the gutter. They're peanut butter-butterscotch balls, they're about 5,000 calories apiece, Christmas is incomplete without them, and you will die unhappy and unfulfilled if you never get to sink your teeth into one of Mamaw's balls.
It should be a really fun drive tomorrow. 12 wrapped gifts, 11 bottles of Leigh Ann's hair products (those points don't just happen, you know), 10 Christmas playlists that we hope Sandy H. won't deem obnoxious (Destiny's Child Christmas tunes, hello! Classic!), 9 DVDs for when DirecTV gives out in the mountains, 8 extra pounds I've already gained since Thanksgiving, 7 weathermen predicting wintry mixes, and ... 6, 5, 4 of ... something, 3 bottles of Prosecco, 2 cat anxiety pills and 1 super fat and adorable cat who would eat the partridge and the pear tree if given the opportunity.
So... good-byes can be awkward, much like the number 2011. Which is when we'll be back. Seriously, 11, what's the deal?
12.16.2010
The Christmas Cards
One of my coworkers wondered recently if distributing Christmas cards designed by her four-year-old daughter would be deemed cute or nauseating. She could not decide if the card recipients would think she was forcing her daughter's art upon them and she would thus be deemed a compliment-fisher.
This may come as a surprise, but I don't usually have an opinion about most things; I tend to see both sides of most issues. It's not that I don't care - it's probably just that I'm a Libra. Also, sometimes, yes, I truly don't care.
But not when it comes to Christmas cards! Of course my coworker should have her child create her cards. I didn't have to debate for one second about this issue. Sandy H. used to have the three of us design our family Christmas cards. She didn't have to wonder if people would think she was fishing for fake compliments because she knew that we were all immensely talented. Obviously, my children will be truly artistically gifted if they are borne from me, and I won't think twice about forcing a pen in their chubby little hands the millisecond they develop any sort of motor skills and seeing if any Christmassy-looking item appears on the page.
We lost all the samples of our old Christmas cards in Katrina, but the memory of one of the earliest copies stands out in my mind. Randy, around age 10, drew a gorgeous set of three wise men that looked almost exactly like this:
Brooke, probably around age 5, was assigned the daunting task of drawing the manger scene. What she drew came out looking like this:
As the resident three-year-old, I was a girl who knew what I wanted. And I didn't want to do what I didn't want to do. And what I didn't want to do was draw anything that was not a candy cane.
They tried to stop me. They tried to tell me the candy cane didn't belong in the nativity scene. I didn't give a fuck.
I wanted to draw a fucking candy cane and no one was going to stop me.
So the final result looked pretty much like this:
This may come as a surprise, but I don't usually have an opinion about most things; I tend to see both sides of most issues. It's not that I don't care - it's probably just that I'm a Libra. Also, sometimes, yes, I truly don't care.
But not when it comes to Christmas cards! Of course my coworker should have her child create her cards. I didn't have to debate for one second about this issue. Sandy H. used to have the three of us design our family Christmas cards. She didn't have to wonder if people would think she was fishing for fake compliments because she knew that we were all immensely talented. Obviously, my children will be truly artistically gifted if they are borne from me, and I won't think twice about forcing a pen in their chubby little hands the millisecond they develop any sort of motor skills and seeing if any Christmassy-looking item appears on the page.
We lost all the samples of our old Christmas cards in Katrina, but the memory of one of the earliest copies stands out in my mind. Randy, around age 10, drew a gorgeous set of three wise men that looked almost exactly like this:
Brooke, probably around age 5, was assigned the daunting task of drawing the manger scene. What she drew came out looking like this:
As the resident three-year-old, I was a girl who knew what I wanted. And I didn't want to do what I didn't want to do. And what I didn't want to do was draw anything that was not a candy cane.
They tried to stop me. They tried to tell me the candy cane didn't belong in the nativity scene. I didn't give a fuck.
I wanted to draw a fucking candy cane and no one was going to stop me.
So the final result looked pretty much like this:
12.12.2010
Daily Dose: Gay Lip-Synch
If there's one thing we don't do enough of here at CiB, it's post videos of gays lip-synching Mariah Carey Christmas songs. It's time to remedy that!
This video tickled us to the core. Highlights include an ice-skating friendship circle, a shopping montage, gingerbread mischief, and rooftop back-up singers using glasses of champagne as microphones. It's like a window into our family's own Christmas!
Enjoy!
This video tickled us to the core. Highlights include an ice-skating friendship circle, a shopping montage, gingerbread mischief, and rooftop back-up singers using glasses of champagne as microphones. It's like a window into our family's own Christmas!
Enjoy!
12.06.2010
The Tacky Christmas Lights
Last year in our first year of marriage, Derrick and I were ultra-lame (lamer than usual) and didn't even bother to get a Christmas tree. We blame the fact that Derrick was at the end of his first semester of law school and was hibernating at the library studying for finals and didn't have time to get one.
This year is different! We were bound and determined to get our very first family Christmas tree!
Weeks ago, we thought ahead and picked up a stand and some lights, even stopping to discuss how many we thought we would need. "300?" "Yeah, that should be enough."
Yesterday, we braved the cold, winter Philadelphia streets in search of the perfect tree - nothing could stop us! Except wine and brunch, but then on we went again in our search!
A whole half-block away we picked up our tree and brought it home. Derrick carried its heavy, bountiful body up the stairs of our walk-up and hand-sawed its trunk. After an hour of preparation and balancing, voila! A perfect tree, ready for decorating!
I swiftly got to work on the lights after bragging to Derrick about how good I was at string-lighting a tree. But something was amiss.
We had accidentally picked up lights with WHITE CORDS instead of GREEN!!! Not only that, we barely had enough to cover the top half of the tree!
How could I have been so careless? Christmas is Derrick's favorite holiday. He even has a Christmas Excitement Dance that involves him jumping up and down yelling "CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!" Here's how it goes:
So you can imagine his disappointment when he saw our tacky white-cord-lighted, awful Christmas tree. He was devastated. I had failed as a wife.
After a few tears, wejumped in the car walked 10 blocks to our car and drove around in search of proper tree lights. For whatever reason, the first store was completely out of normal-people lights, but they were brimming with giant LED lights, snowflake-shaped lights, Jesus-shaped lights, red, blue, purple, pink, gold lights, and any other unnecessary novelty light you can think of.
I decided we would steal lights off of someone's house before we went home empty-handed.
Thankfully, the second store we went to had industrial-sized coils left, so we went home with 800,000 perfect lights.
Christmas was saved!
This year is different! We were bound and determined to get our very first family Christmas tree!
Weeks ago, we thought ahead and picked up a stand and some lights, even stopping to discuss how many we thought we would need. "300?" "Yeah, that should be enough."
Yesterday, we braved the cold, winter Philadelphia streets in search of the perfect tree - nothing could stop us! Except wine and brunch, but then on we went again in our search!
A whole half-block away we picked up our tree and brought it home. Derrick carried its heavy, bountiful body up the stairs of our walk-up and hand-sawed its trunk. After an hour of preparation and balancing, voila! A perfect tree, ready for decorating!
I swiftly got to work on the lights after bragging to Derrick about how good I was at string-lighting a tree. But something was amiss.
We had accidentally picked up lights with WHITE CORDS instead of GREEN!!! Not only that, we barely had enough to cover the top half of the tree!
How could I have been so careless? Christmas is Derrick's favorite holiday. He even has a Christmas Excitement Dance that involves him jumping up and down yelling "CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!" Here's how it goes:
So you can imagine his disappointment when he saw our tacky white-cord-lighted, awful Christmas tree. He was devastated. I had failed as a wife.
After a few tears, we
I decided we would steal lights off of someone's house before we went home empty-handed.
Thankfully, the second store we went to had industrial-sized coils left, so we went home with 800,000 perfect lights.
Christmas was saved!
11.29.2010
'Tis The Season To Get A Little Lazy
We would like to take this opportunity to apologize profusely for the lack of content posted in the past week. We spent the past day rolling our round bodies back to Philly from North Carolina, where we spent the last six days lying face-down in plate after plate of starchy, fatty, cheesy, nutty, sugary, potato perfection, washed down with multiple bottles of dry nectar.
God. Bless. Uh. Mare. Kuh. 'Merica!
We have much to be thankful for, especially our brother Randy for passing along this horrifying image of what a cat bath would look like if it were administered by Salvador Dali, as we try to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.
God. Bless. Uh. Mare. Kuh. 'Merica!
We have much to be thankful for, especially our brother Randy for passing along this horrifying image of what a cat bath would look like if it were administered by Salvador Dali, as we try to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.
11.17.2010
The Stupid Ballet
I took ballet for several years as a child, but I quit after 6th grade when the other girls got way too snobby Sandy H. offered to buy me a horse. But I never stopped loving ballet. Sign me up for a viewing of Center Stage any day!
A few years ago I decided to share my love for this art form with Derrick and combine it with his deep, mad love for all things Christmas: I took him to see The Nutcracker!
At first he went all "reluctant boyfriend dude" on me.
But he soldiered on and went with me anyway. What a champ.
When the curtain opened, he was still skeptical, but then he heard the irresistible and recognizable melodies, which, he wants me to add, he used to play in symphonies when he was a brilliant child musician prodigy.
And then more magic unfolded.
A few years ago I decided to share my love for this art form with Derrick and combine it with his deep, mad love for all things Christmas: I took him to see The Nutcracker!
At first he went all "reluctant boyfriend dude" on me.
But he soldiered on and went with me anyway. What a champ.
When the curtain opened, he was still skeptical, but then he heard the irresistible and recognizable melodies, which, he wants me to add, he used to play in symphonies when he was a brilliant child musician prodigy.
And then more magic unfolded.
And then...
And now Derrick loves The Nutcracker. Giant Christmas trees can change anyone's mind about anything! We just bought our tickets for the 2010 P. Family Nutcracker Viewing today. Yay, Christmas is coming!
11.16.2010
Cats In Wrapping Paper
We here at CiB are pretty stoked about Christmas already, and tomorrow morning's post will reflect that as well. While we generally believe Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday deserving of its own month in the sun without being overshadowed by Santa Claus's birthday in December, we can't help ourselves, so we wanted to share this with you as soon as possible.
We also like how this relaxed, cooperative cat reminds of us of our sweet Franco, albeit a short-haired, less cute Franco with no black nose to speak of. We suppose he'll do.
Oh, and try to ignore the word bubbles because they aren't funny and really take away from the overall effect.
Now, for no particular reason, here's a picture of Franco using a wire brush as a pillow:
We also like how this relaxed, cooperative cat reminds of us of our sweet Franco, albeit a short-haired, less cute Franco with no black nose to speak of. We suppose he'll do.
Oh, and try to ignore the word bubbles because they aren't funny and really take away from the overall effect.
Now, for no particular reason, here's a picture of Franco using a wire brush as a pillow:
 |
| Maybe to celebrate his birthday, Santa will bring us an iPhone with a half-decent camera. |
11.03.2010
Everybody Puts Baby In The Middle
I didn't vote yesterday.
Sometimes the guilt of not bothering to vote can be overwhelming, thanks to the in-your-faceness of "VOTE VOTE VOTE!" brought to my senses by every Facebook status, every blog, and simply by being on a college campus, but then I shrug my shoulders and remember why I didn't vote in the first place: because.... meh.
I think myapathy political moderateness stems from being the baby of the H. family and always feeling stuck in the middle of hair-pulling arguments lively debates at holiday gatherings and meals. Both of my parents are SUV-driving, Wal-Mart-shopping Fox News watchers very conservative and both of my siblings are Subaru-driving, co-op-shopping, non-air-conditioning-using granola crunchers very liberal.
In the past, ifI became too uncomfortable people at other tables started glaring at us a discussion became too heated, Mom wouldn't be able to think of anything nice to say and didn't want to perpetuate the drama, so she would force a smile and say, "That's so great that you're so passionate about this issue! What a great country we live in!"
Then I take the opportunity to shout, "Did you all SEE what BRITNEY SPEARS did this weekend? OMG, it was ALL over the news! Crazy! Gurl needs to get her SHIT together!!!" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes I replace Britney with Paris or Lindsay or some other troubled star. If we were at a family gathering this week, it would be poor Demi.
Am I ashamed that I am more likely to have a knowledgeable and civilized discussion about celebrity gossip than I am about politics? Meh.
Sometimes the guilt of not bothering to vote can be overwhelming, thanks to the in-your-faceness of "VOTE VOTE VOTE!" brought to my senses by every Facebook status, every blog, and simply by being on a college campus, but then I shrug my shoulders and remember why I didn't vote in the first place: because.... meh.
I think my
In the past, if
Then I take the opportunity to shout, "Did you all SEE what BRITNEY SPEARS did this weekend? OMG, it was ALL over the news! Crazy! Gurl needs to get her SHIT together!!!" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes I replace Britney with Paris or Lindsay or some other troubled star. If we were at a family gathering this week, it would be poor Demi.
Am I ashamed that I am more likely to have a knowledgeable and civilized discussion about celebrity gossip than I am about politics? Meh.
 |
| I wonder if Britney voted yesterday. |
10.14.2010
Taking Advantage of the Faint of Heart
I love the shizz out of this time of year. It's like a non-stop orgy train of cool-weather holidays starting at Labor Day with stops at my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, with a sprinkling of sweata weatha and the occasional spice cake or two ten!
No more sweating yourself to sleep! No more banging your head against the wall for NOT appreciating that ice maker while you had it. Adios, Hermione Granger hair, you can use your hair dryer again! No more walking around the apartment in your underw--- meh, I don't see any reason to stop doing that.
I might love Halloween and its accompanying movies a little more than the average person. I once became obsessed with owning a DVD of Practical Magic, even though I recognize that it's probably one of the worst movies of all time, and one that both Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock would rather forget was ever made. I drove to every DVD-selling storefront in a 50-mile radius looking for Practical Magic. Did I think to call ahead anywhere? Of course not. My brain was overwrought with witch obsession! I encountered one Best Buy employee who was at first puzzled by my quest, and then for some reason found it worthy of his judgment and ridicule. I stomped off empty-handed and finally had to give up, order it online and waaaaiiiittt for it, ughhh!
Derrick and I were just friends before that fateful night when I got him drunk and informed him that we would be together forever. During that "just friends" period, we went to see The Ring. I absolutely love this movie and will watch it at any opportunity. This movie scared the shit out of Derrick, and though he won't admit it, it still does to this day.
There is a woman in the movie-within-the-movie in The Ring, who stands in front of a mirror, brushing her long dark hair, and then she turns around slowly to look directly at the viewer. It is tinkle-your-pants freaky. So sometimes when I know Derrick is behind me, I'll stand in front of a mirror with my eyes really wide, and then I'll slowly turn around to look at him without blinking or smiling, and he totally wigs out. That's not freaky - that's just funny.
Watch Samara's creeptastic video yourself for an inspirational way to freak the shit out of your loved ones!
No more sweating yourself to sleep! No more banging your head against the wall for NOT appreciating that ice maker while you had it. Adios, Hermione Granger hair, you can use your hair dryer again! No more walking around the apartment in your underw--- meh, I don't see any reason to stop doing that.
I might love Halloween and its accompanying movies a little more than the average person. I once became obsessed with owning a DVD of Practical Magic, even though I recognize that it's probably one of the worst movies of all time, and one that both Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock would rather forget was ever made. I drove to every DVD-selling storefront in a 50-mile radius looking for Practical Magic. Did I think to call ahead anywhere? Of course not. My brain was overwrought with witch obsession! I encountered one Best Buy employee who was at first puzzled by my quest, and then for some reason found it worthy of his judgment and ridicule. I stomped off empty-handed and finally had to give up, order it online and waaaaiiiittt for it, ughhh!
Derrick and I were just friends before that fateful night when I got him drunk and informed him that we would be together forever. During that "just friends" period, we went to see The Ring. I absolutely love this movie and will watch it at any opportunity. This movie scared the shit out of Derrick, and though he won't admit it, it still does to this day.
There is a woman in the movie-within-the-movie in The Ring, who stands in front of a mirror, brushing her long dark hair, and then she turns around slowly to look directly at the viewer. It is tinkle-your-pants freaky. So sometimes when I know Derrick is behind me, I'll stand in front of a mirror with my eyes really wide, and then I'll slowly turn around to look at him without blinking or smiling, and he totally wigs out. That's not freaky - that's just funny.
Watch Samara's creeptastic video yourself for an inspirational way to freak the shit out of your loved ones!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)