3.08.2011

Obese Tuesday

They say you should treat your body like a temple.  Earlier today, in honor of Mardi Gras, I treated my body like a fast food joint, and I am currently in the process of treating it like a tavern.

I decided to give up Diet Coke for Lent for the second year in a row.  Actually, I am giving up all soft drinks, but I don't really drink anything other than Diet Coke, except Diet Pepsi in situations of extreme desperation.  Derrick wondered why I didn't give up something easier, and I thought, "Easier than Diet Coke?  Like ... food?  And water?  Like Jesus gave up for you?"

I managed to squeeze in approximately 50 ounces of Diet Coke today in about four hours as a sort of TTFN between me and God's nectar.  I also ate a giant, bring-the-tooth-pain buttercream chocolate egg.  I was so Charlie Sheened up on caffeine and sugar that my walk home from work - which normally takes 30 minutes at a swift pace - was only 20 minutes.  I pretty much collapsed on the bed when I got home, but still: magical Diet Coke-fueled strength and speed!  I am an UNSTOPPABLE LOCOMOTIVE OF TORPEDOES AND PEGASUS UNICORNS MADE OF PURE STEEL!

See?  Charlie Sheened up.


 

2 comments:

  1. I will support you in this test to refuse soda by only drinking them occasionally in your presence and never exclaiming about how yummy it is.

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