They say you should treat your body like a temple. Earlier today, in honor of Mardi Gras, I treated my body like a fast food joint, and I am currently in the process of treating it like a tavern.
I decided to give up Diet Coke for Lent for the second year in a row. Actually, I am giving up all soft drinks, but I don't really drink anything other than Diet Coke, except Diet Pepsi in situations of extreme desperation. Derrick wondered why I didn't give up something easier, and I thought, "Easier than Diet Coke? Like ... food? And water? Like Jesus gave up for you?"
I managed to squeeze in approximately 50 ounces of Diet Coke today in about four hours as a sort of TTFN between me and God's nectar. I also ate a giant, bring-the-tooth-pain buttercream chocolate egg. I was so Charlie Sheened up on caffeine and sugar that my walk home from work - which normally takes 30 minutes at a swift pace - was only 20 minutes. I pretty much collapsed on the bed when I got home, but still: magical Diet Coke-fueled strength and speed! I am an UNSTOPPABLE LOCOMOTIVE OF TORPEDOES AND PEGASUS UNICORNS MADE OF PURE STEEL!
See? Charlie Sheened up.