According to Sandy H., the bluebloods at the yacht club on Lake Norman, NC, suddenly find plain old sailing to be as yawn-inducing as last season's wayfarers. That's why they have finally succumbed to every white person's favorite tool for shaking out those ho-hum snooze blues: theme regattas.
This week's theme is "Dress Like a Pirate." Check out my dad, Bill H., in his awesome pirate sailing gear:
Upon further inspection, Bill H. doesn't look too thrilled about having to dress up as a pirate and go sailing. He looks more like a child on Halloween who would rather be dressed up as an Iron Man or an Avatar, but whose fun-loving father insisted that pirates were way cooler than any Buzz Lightyear get-up. Sandy H. just thinks he looks more like Nick Nolte in his 2002 mug shot.