Hi! Do You Have A Minute?

How are you today?  Are you having a good day?  I like that skirt you're wearing!  Do you have a minute to talk about the rain forest?

One interesting fact about Philly is that there are more sidewalk solicitors per capita than any other major U.S. city.  For every 5 citizens of Philadelphia, there are 2 young people standing on the sidewalk with clipboards, smiling and ready to accost you about every charitable cause imaginable.  Another interesting fact is that they are multiplying.

Generally, when people accidentally make eye contact with one of them, they smile and give an awkwardly nervous shake of the head.  Body language read: I hope he/she doesn't keep bugging me as I walk by.  Are there other people nearby to bug?

Today, for the first time, I saw someone stop to talk to a pretty clipboard girl and give her the time of day.  Unfortunately for the girl and the homeless, drug-addicted, endangered Botswana snails she was trying to save, it appeared that the young man who stopped did it most likely because it would be his only opportunity to talk to a girl this week.

(Which reminds me: I am considering starting a new blog called Nerds Making Out, after having seen a massive number of nerds* making out over the last few months, where people would snap pictures of the geek lovin' and send them in and we would post with snarky comments.  Derrick and I will be the first subjects).

But back to the topic at hand.  My friend Aimee and I try different ways to avoid the clipboarders; pretending to be distraught and pretending like we're about to vomit are the two most effective (so far).  Simply being in a rush because Bravo is re-showing The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Reunion at 8 PM isn't enough of a reason NOT to have a minute for gay rights, animal rights, obese children, starving children, domestic violence, the Coalition for the Prevention of the Kicking of Philadelphia's Pigeons (C-PoKoPP), or any combination of causes thereof.

Okay, thanks anyway!  Have a good day, ma'am!

*Nerds: Example.


  1. when i see clip board welding hippies i just stare them down. generally, i win. it just takes boldness. i learned this skill from watching george w. bush press conferences. if he can stare down all of america and have no clue what he is talking about then i can stare down a few hippies.

    sorry to suddenly make cats political, but it's a good strategy.

  2. The other thing I like to do is to start talking loudly about an unwanted pregnancy.