We are inspired and want to start our own campaign to encourage one particular young demographic near and dear to our hearts, letting them know that these years don't last forever, and it gets better! Our target: nerdy, awkward straight girls.
We know just how you feel. We were just like you.
You think having long hair is automatically pretty because D.J. Tanner has long hair and it's pretty, but really your hair is just bushy, frizzy and way too long? It's okay. One day, you'll figure out how to use styling products and a blow dryer.
You're embarrassed about those braces? Have you ever seen anyone with straight teeth before, or no?
Kids in your class make fun of your flat chest? One day, you'll appreciate the wardrobe your flatness allows you to have.
Boys ignore you now, when they're not making fun of you? Who cares? One day, you'll be married to a private equity banker!
Classmates make fun of your big forehead? Eh, nothing we can say here, except moisturize it like crazy and you'll have the most wrinkle-free forehead at your reunion and they'll all be jealous!
You like The X-Files? A lot of people like The X-Files! Why is your private equity banker husband making fun of you for this? Whatever. He likes Star Trek.
|"Y'all watch The X-Files last night? It was rad!"|
On a more serious note, I am devastated by the recent string of suicides by young people, and humiliating others for sport is the opposite of cool. This piece is intended to make fun of no one but myself. It gets better, y'all!