"Tonight we sat next to a guy who went to Duke. He was an a*#hole."
Not that we needed any more of an explanation, because our most recent run-in with a Duke grad involved him calling us "slow-minded" within two minutes of meeting him for having gone to UNC, i.e. the Southern Part of Heaven. But Derrick wanted to know more, so we had to ask why, specifically, this guy was an a*#hole.
"I - I - I - Me - Me - Me - My - My - My. He SAYS he was head of a 300-person law firm (your dad doubts it). Thinks Chapel Hill is not a 'real town.' I said, 'Have you been there lately?' 'Many times!'"
We have to interject here and ponder the existence of Durham as a "real town." We would call it a "real ghetto town," a "real ugly town," a "Voldemort is real and he lives in this town..." We could go on.
Sandy H. continues: "Is thrilled UNC was bad in basketball last year, hopes it happens again, does not like Roy. Coach K is the world's greatest coach. Has traveled everywhere, done everything, knows everything. I could go on but this re-cap is ruining my morning."
Ours, too.
"It was a challenging evening, but I've been proud of me. I have conversed with everyone, even a*#holes, and said nice things about everything, even Duke. Nearly killed me."
Our friends over in London, like us, hate Duke with an infernal passion undying, and encountering obnoxious Duke people outside the U.S. border only adds fuel to that lava-spewing cauldron of hatred. You can read all about their trans-continental hating here and here.
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| Lord Voldemort, Hannibal Lector, Hitler's ghost, and the douchey kid who wrote I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell all live here. |
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