At a lunch time outing with some office mates the other day, the conversation that started off gabbing about other office mates took a decidedly more interesting turn: crazy sex laws. I don't know how we got here, but we did. Maybe because I was talking about how Derrick is thinking about bringing another wife into our marriage to spice things up.
We decided to do a little research on the illegal things we do without realizing it, and focused our search on the state in which we currently live.
In Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. It's illegal to sing in a bathtub. It's illegal to sweep dust and dirt under a rug.
Derrick's and my marriage would not be considered legal if it had been performed in Pennsylvania because neither the bride nor groom can be drunk during the ceremony and it's illegal to shoot off a cannon at a wedding. That, and we both passed out on top of our outdoor fridge after the consummation.
During our research I did see a stupid law that I already knew about from many years of touring hundreds of college campuses with Sandy H.: that it is outlawed for more than 16 women to reside in a house together because it constitutes a brothel. This is a favorite wake-up tactic employed by tour guides across the state when discussing sorority life and Greek housing. You can always count on someone's obnoxious dad to make an obnoxious joke comparing sorority women to prostitutes. Then that dad's child would be all like, "Ughhhhh, DAD! GOD, you're SO ANNOYING! Ughhhh!"
Then the tour guide will follow the rest of her formulaic plan and talk about how even though it's a large school, the classes are small and you can get to know your professors really well! Last night she went over to her professor's house for pizza with one of her classes and she's going to be babysitting for another professor this weekend. Why is it that every tour guide dines on pizza with and babysits for her professors? We didn't know a single person at any of the colleges we attended who did this.
Anyway, back to the brothel law. This is a stupid law because I'm pretty sure an effective brothel could be achieved with just 15 women. Pretty sure the Maison Derriere in Springfield managed it ...