Taking Advantage of the Faint of Heart

I love the shizz out of this time of year.  It's like a non-stop orgy train of cool-weather holidays starting at Labor Day with stops at my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, with a sprinkling of sweata weatha and the occasional spice cake or two ten!

No more sweating yourself to sleep!  No more banging your head against the wall for NOT appreciating that ice maker while you had it.  Adios, Hermione Granger hair, you can use your hair dryer again!  No more walking around the apartment in your underw--- meh, I don't see any reason to stop doing that.

I might love Halloween and its accompanying movies a little more than the average person.  I once became obsessed with owning a DVD of Practical Magic, even though I recognize that it's probably one of the worst movies of all time, and one that both Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock would rather forget was ever made.  I drove to every DVD-selling storefront in a 50-mile radius looking for Practical Magic.  Did I think to call ahead anywhere?  Of course not.  My brain was overwrought with witch obsession!  I encountered one Best Buy employee who was at first puzzled by my quest, and then for some reason found it worthy of his judgment and ridicule.  I stomped off empty-handed and finally had to give up, order it online and waaaaiiiittt for it, ughhh! 

Derrick and I were just friends before that fateful night when I got him drunk and informed him that we would be together forever.  During that "just friends" period, we went to see The Ring.  I absolutely love this movie and will watch it at any opportunity.  This movie scared the shit out of Derrick, and though he won't admit it, it still does to this day. 

There is a woman in the movie-within-the-movie in The Ring, who stands in front of a mirror, brushing her long dark hair, and then she turns around slowly to look directly at the viewer.  It is tinkle-your-pants freaky.  So sometimes when I know Derrick is behind me, I'll stand in front of a mirror with my eyes really wide, and then I'll slowly turn around to look at him without blinking or smiling, and he totally wigs out.  That's not freaky - that's just funny.

Watch Samara's creeptastic video yourself for an inspirational way to freak the shit out of your loved ones!


  1. Did you ever hear of the movie where the all-American sweetheart is really a witch?

  2. i am probably going to die and have nightmares now and it's all your fault. my phone better not ring for the next hour.