Sandy H. writes:
About a hundred years ago when I was a kid, I lived in a house with no air conditioning and one television set. In those golden days of yore it was the parents who decided which program to watch. (Now you see why I am the troubled person I am. Childhood abuse will do that to you). Way too frequently my parents chose to watch The Arthur Murray Show, where an old coot – Arthur – and his minions demonstrated various ballroom dances. It was beyond boring.
Inspired by Arthur and ever in search of new ways to torture me, my parents at about that same time enrolled me in ballroom dancing classes. I was the tallest in my class. Not tallest GIRL, the tallest PERSON. I was boob to nose with most of my partners. Nice. It took us all about a month to master the box step, which, according to our extremely qualified instructor, is the basis of ALL other ballroom dances. The box step is about one-trillionth as interesting as it sounds. Eventually we moved on - first to the waltz. ONE – two – three. ONE- two – three. All those noses bobbing up and down next to my boobs. Not good. And on to the Latin dances. One two, cha cha cha. One two, cha cha cha. (We had to count when we danced. That definitely enhances the dance experience. Try it).
All this leads up to why I have been asked to review this season’s Dancing with the Stars. Clearly, my qualifications speak for themselves. I will, depending on my mood and the fabulosity of the Stars, be awarding our Stars stars from one * to four. Actually my first **** of the season go to the casting director of DWTS for having the genius to hire The Situation and Bristol Palin. I would give them ****++++ if they had also gotten Levi Johnston and Snooki.
DWTS starts tonight, Monday, September 20th at 8 PM EST on ABC. Reviews and recaps start ... sometime after that.