This Is A Thing That Exists: Boss's Day
There is a really funny opening scene on one episode of The Simpsons where all these greeting card company executives are sitting around a conference table, complaining about a seasonal slump in sales, so one of them helpfully suggests introducing America to a new holiday to produce more cards: Love Day! Then they cut to Marge throwing a Love Day party and telling everyone Happy Love Day. It's funny.
Most moments in my day-to-day life have a corresponding Simpsons reference, so of course I think about this scene whenever I'm picking out a birthday card and I see another stupid holiday I had never heard of, or some cards for some holidays that just don't warrant sending a card at all. I'm looking at you, cards for St. Patrick's Day.
Which brings me to Boss's Day. This is an actual national holiday for which people buy cards. It reminds me of being a kid and having the realization that there was a Mother's Day, a Father's Day, a Grandparents' Day, but, what the fuck! There's no kids' day!!! Why isn't there a kids' day??? And then your mom glares at you and tells you that every day is kids' day, and you're like, "Oh."
With that logic, isn't every day Boss's Day? How does one celebrate Boss's Day? Why would you possibly need to suck up to your boss any more, and how could you do it without looking like a tool in front of everyone else in the office? You could do it in secret, but, ew, creepy, and besides, Emily Post says this. If you don't do anything at all, does your boss think you're an asshole, if he/she doesn't already? How do you know if your boss even knows about Boss's Day???
I'm so stressed out.
You might still be in the clear with your boss, but since mine reads Cats in Baths, I'll end by saying that Beth-Liz* rules; best boss ever!
*Name has been changed from something similar.