THIS JUST IN: White People Love Sweaters, Hate Unsanitary Living Conditions

Mom, Derrick and I had a delightful weekend doing all sorts of fun things that white people love doing: looking at art, going to Williams-Sonoma, wearing sweaters, eating overpriced cheese, and visiting Chinatown.  We even passed by a restaurant there that I hadn't yet noticed, and it was a great one for Sandy H. to see, since it was called The Dumpling House.  Mom has called me "Dumpling" for many years, but often just shortens it to "Dumps."  At least Bill H. makes up for this by calling me "Angel."

In other Cats in Baths news, Derrick found a fecal treasure last night left behind by yet another rodent roommate.  We have decided to take matters into our own hands and we're getting a black snake to release in the apartment.  If that doesn't work out, we are going to be welcoming a new feline friend into our family.  I found a cat on PetFinder named "Hunter."  I immediately knew this was the cat for us.  That's how shelters name their cats, like Native American tribes - did you know that?  You have to earn your name!  I don't want a cat named Sharpens Claws On Antique Oriental Rug or Uses Sleeping Owner's Hair As Litterbox.  I want a cat named Thirsts For Mouse Blood.

Hunter wasn't at the shelter we visited, but there was a play room that housed a stunning white cat with blue eyes and a sweet black cat whose brain stem was attached to his spinal cord with a paper clip.  He could hardly function and would randomly fall over since he didn't have control over any part of his body.  The stunning white cat would walk all the way across the room to swat at the poor handicapped cat for no reason and make him fall over.  I tried lecturing the stunning white cat about how not to treat those with head injuries, but instead of listening to me, she looked at Derrick as he was filling out an adoption application, and jumped onto the clipboard to use as a launching pad for her next destination.

The stunning white cat might just be enough of a jerk to fill the job opening!

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